Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I see more hoeing in ur future
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
