Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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