I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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