We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
