Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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