people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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