That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
