The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
40s are totally the cure
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
