shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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