playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
