She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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