we're chasing vodka with high fives
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
