Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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