dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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