Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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