just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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