If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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