you guys were way drunker than both of me
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
