they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
