eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
When did angry sex become our thing?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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