So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
