coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
