my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
