the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
