Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
