he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
