Me too!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
