just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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