I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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