What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
