I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
