The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
