saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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