MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
