Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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