I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The uberlube is also flammable
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
