Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
