he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
