she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
