have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
