Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
