fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
