just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
