I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
