Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
