I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
