go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
