hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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