His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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