he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
