Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
A bitchslap is in order.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
