it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
