So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you would pick up someone in the library
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
