don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
