He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
