At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
