After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
im on a boat
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