I want to make a zoo with you.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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