Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
