have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
